"you look like a virgin," was my husband's cheeky comment after he snuck a look at me while driving to work this morning.
eh? what's a virgin supposed to look like anyway?
did that mean i looked innocent?
or
did that mean i appeared ready to be ravished?
i was too sleepy to make a witty comeback so i just let it go. wait till i get home. i'll show him.
after a crappy day at work, it was nice to unwind with newton faulkner on the 1.5-hour drive home. it's hard to describe music without being redundantly repetitive. hehe.
his music in a few words, reminds me of dusk, and the silver glow behind the clouds.
listen. and let me know what you think.
easter monday is a public holiday. not maunday thursday, but easter monday. strange as it may seem, i can't be found complaining. another paid day without work, that's good enough for me.
the following would aptly describe what i have witnessed in my day so far.
1 country driving, along somerville road going to flinders
2 'bonbons' - hay rolls
3 flinders beach as seen from the main highway
4 aussies love fishing
5 i find unmanned anchored little boats a sad sight
6 tita, me and my husband observing flotsam and jetsam
7 a random blowfish, discarded by a mean fishermen (throw it back if you don't want it!)
8 tita and nick along the boardwalk
1 stopped by for coffee, found a misspelt sign (gluton free! teehee.) pigs not allowed.after a 2.5-hour drive, i am now home. the day wasn't so bad. how's yours?
2 another interesting sign
3 had to be followed
4 the chocolate shop!
5 mouth-watering little imps
6 the chocolates got the girl --- hook, line and sinker
7 heaven in its raw form
8 the workshop (it smells wonderful, i tell you!)
9 huwaw!
10 huwaw some more
11 master chocolateur at work
12 eye candy (literally)
13 it's 100% chocolate
14 me, buying. (couldn't resist even if it costs an arm!)
15 happy girl!
16 my treasures
17 tristan and nick, waiting for me to choose
18 a rose-shaped plant
19 the rose bush
20 if you love your pets, cut their balls off!
1 tristan, me and jay (backseat drivers)
2 me, tita, nick, john, tahlia, jackson and jay inside yabbie's
3 mornington peninsula town proper on good friday
4 a giant tree and a little me
for the sake of increasing awareness that i have a new blogsite (and also for lack of anything interesting to write about), i am posting this 20-question meme.
rules as follows:
remove 1 question from the list of questions below and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions. then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of your post. let them know in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. simple enough?
game.
1.) What was your definition of love 10 years ago? Has it changed over time?
~ i was in my fourth year in uni then, and i was every bit jaded and cynical about love. thankfully, it has made a 180degree turnaround.
2.) What color do you like most?
~ black. because it goes with anything.
3.) If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
~ dream catch me! just listening to newton faulkner and im suffering from LSS. forgive me.
4.) Where is the place that you want to go to the most?
~ right now, someplace cool like the beach. this melbourne heatwave's gonna be the death of me.
5.) Which part of you that you hate the most?
~ my propensity to procrastinate.
6.) When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
~ i always bawl.
7.) What are you afraid to lose the most?
~ any loved-one. i have never really been face to face with this kind of loss, so i don't know how i'd handle it. *knocks on wood*
8.) If you win $1 million, what would you do?
~ call my mom. buy a house. go home to the philippines for a bit. put up a business for each of our (hubby's and mine) moms so that they can retire comfortably.
9.) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
~ this question doesn't have any relevance to my disposition at present.
10.) If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you have it?
~ i'd have wings on my back.
11.) What are your requirements from your other half ?
~ must be responsible, trustworthy, a lover of life. smart, never boring, child-like, God-fearing, and must love my mom like she was his own. must be hygienic.
12.) Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
~ surprisingly, i don't have any regrets. i have what-might-have-beens but that's beside the point.
13.) Which type of person do you hate the most?
~ compulsive liars.
14.) What is your ambition?
~ i just wanna write.
15.) What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
~ when he/she would repeatedly do things to consciously hurt someone else.
16.) What is it that people don’t know about you?
~ that i just love being in the house and doing domestic chores rather than over-achieving.
17.) So far, have you had a life-changing moment? What was it?
~ two years ago, i forgave my dad. and left all my baggage on that dinner table.
18.) Name one of your body part your significant other tells you he/she adores.
~ my husband loves my legs.
19.) What was your new year's resolution for 2008?
~ i didn't really have any. i normally take every day as it comes, and do the best i can each day, except if it's too hot to do anything, of course. like today.
20.) If your better half cheats on you, will you forgive him/her?
~ let's hope that my love won't be tested that way. i will probably forgive him, but i will never forget that he has done that.
whew. what a wet blanket that last question was!
anyhoobaloo, i'm tagging
lesley, reg, kris, larry, sheryl, ace and karen
today's a monday, and i don't have the strength to get up and go to work.
i don't wanna use the clomid as a convenient excuse for laziness, but i am not normally this sluggish. this morning, i had a short bout of dizziness, everything had become blurry, for no apparent reason at all. apart from that, nothing else out of the ordinary.
i've been doing a bit of online research about fertility and i am amazed at the number of sites/fora (forums?) that are out there. and the acronyms they use! gosh. that probably might be one of the reasons why i got dizzy. anyhoo, i am on cd13 (cycle day 13) today, and i am expected to ovulate tomorrow. doctor said i needed to do daily monitoring so i can check whether my LH (leuteinizing hormones, the hormones responsible for releasing eggs) has surged, so i can do the baby dance, which is a silly name used to refer to intercourse.
dragging myself to the toilet, i whisked out my opk (ovulation predictor kit) and to my surprise, i had a faint second line. which MAY mean that i am ovulating. don't wanna get my hopes up until i have the blood test done. and i don't really need stressing these days, have to be as relaxed as possible.
seigfred has been extremely supportive and further adds that i should not be obsessed with conceiving, and just take things in stride as they come. it's just that we've been trying for 8 months now.
on a lighter note, the star track express man has arrived today bearing a gift!
i've been waiting for this delivery for about a week now, and just as i wasn't really expecting it to come today, it's now here! yipee for that.
it's in its gigantic box sitting on our bedroom floor. the latest addition to our collection of tech toys. it's a 29" flat screen super slim TV that i won from work. thank God for career perks eh?
how long has it been? a year almost since i last deposited ramblings here. just had a very inane impulse to document yet another surge of thoughts.
first off, yes i am already married, and at this point, we're praying and trying to conceive. about a couple of years ago, i have had severe back pain and i've had a battery of tests done when i rushed to the emergency room. urinalysis, fecalysis, blood tests, etc. name it. to the bafflement of the doctors, they couldn't find what was wrong with me. i had an ultrasound done, and the impression was i had polycystic ovaries. eh?
doctor said it was much more common nowadays, and its causes are unknown. she further added that it was no cause for alarm, as these little strings of pearls do normally go away after the first child is born. she said that if the time comes that i want to have a baby, just go to an obgyn and i would then be prescribed hormones to regulate ovulation. it was all gibberish to me at that time, as i was not really in any position to think about conception, babies, even marriage.
but now, obviously, this has to be confronted.
my first australian trip to the obgyn was alright, albeit a bit unpleasant. first off, we live in frankston, which is roundabout 2 hours away from melbourne (where we work, but anyway that's another entry altogether). think of it as batangas in relation to manila. and that's 2 hours at 100kph on the freeway. so, it's kinda... errr... provincial. which means, there's only very few specialty doctors in the vicinity, and i really don't wanna go to a neighboring suburb just to go to the doctor (not unless i really have to, anyway).
so my obgyn is a man. he's a professional, i reason. great, right? and then comes my first visit. which coincides with the day a male intern named ramamurthiharikrishna rao suganthi is assigned to do the initial consultation for the doctor. when he was grilling me with all these absurd questions about my medical history, it was clear to me that he was more nervous about doing the consultation for what was probably his first ever, than i was with what was about to transpire over the next few minutes.
poor bloke, he was. he kept on stammering when he asked me about my menarche, the schedule of my sexual activities (oh boy!), the frequency of my periods et al. it kept me amused, that.
doctor finally entered the clinic where sweaty intern then promptly gave him the gist of what comprised my sexuality. "ah yes, yes hmmm... polycystic ovaries eh? might not be the case. you might not be ovulating regularly though, and that's something that we have to check. so, anytime you're ready, you can strip yourself of your bottom half, put this nasty green sackcloth on, lie on this bit of half a single bed with faux leather and a 2-inch mattress and spread your legs, with feet on the stirrups," dr.obgyn says in one whole breath.
ohhhhkayyyy. *awkward pause*
"come, ramamurthiharikrishna rao suganthi, have a look at this," i heard and at the same time saw the doctor say this over the sackcloth on my knees to a now blushing intern (an indian turning red, imagine that!). "this. vagina. ok? put this bit in... (at this point i was squirming).. i know it's cold, just relax.. and then rotate this screw here *insert sounds of metal objects clanging against each other*... and that is the cervix. see that? now put this other bit in, turn it 360 degrees and just swab the sides to get a bit of a sample from all angles. come on, you can do it.. (and i felt like kicking ramarao)... just breathe and relax, sweetie, it will be over soon. there. then smear it onto this plate just like you would a normal blood sample as if to study the cells." i saw both of them smear what looked like clearish whitish goop on a little glass square thing that's used in microscopes. how horrible was that hey?
whole point is, everything is normal in terms of cells, my blood, and stuff. i just have a high level of progestagen, which hinders me from ovulating regularly. i have now finished my first dose of clomid 100mg. waiting for normal ovulation in 5 days. if that doesn't happen, i would then have to do something else probably. i maybe given an increased dosage, or placed on a new program altogether.
thing with clomid is, it makes me moody. i have hot flushes. i see white stuff swirling in front of me (although im not complaining about this, whee!). but we have yet to find out if it will work.
i made this entry so that you, whoever you are reading this right now, can help me pray for success.
